Pessoa, "The Book of Disquiet"

"Oh night in which the stars seign light, all night that alone is the size of Universe, make me, body and soul, part of your body, so that-being near darkness- I'll lose myself and become night as well without any dreams as stars within me, nor a hoped for sun shining with the future" (F.Pessoa, "Book of Disquiet", passage 280 ). How do I begin to tell you the story of myself? To tell you how hard it is no fight with inner you? Let me try to express my feelings into the story, which I would never read again, the story of myself.
"Is it worth to live, if you don't see anything in front of…